When to Go Out and When to Stay In

Do you encounter decision fatigue every time you face the prospect of trying to talk yourself into going out? Do you secretly celebrate a last-minute cancellation of plans by a friend—even though you theoretically adore said friend? Well, have we got the tool for you!

This chart will help you decide whether you should go out or stay in on any given occasion. 

(Secret piece of trivia: Marzi said this is her longest chart ever. All for you, dear readers.)


When to go out and stay in


Share your thoughts.

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  • Max!

    Can’t wait to purchase!

  • Max!

    Separate cars! Seriously though my husband and I are like you and yours. He’s gotten better at leaving but taking separate cars could work for you also. You get alone time before and after and he gets to stay and chat as long as he likes. While you get to leave to “relieve the sitter” or “prepare for an early meeting”

  • Charity Wakamau

    So helpful!!!something to remind me l am still normal and compassionate

  • Sleak

    I received this flow chart only a few hours ago and have shared it with so many people, all of whom think it’s one of the best things they’ve ever seen! It’s not only helpful, but really captures the complexity of the thought process that happens when we’re unsure about going out or staying in. It’s not just illustrative, but a great tool that I’ll use. Thanks!!

  • Marlana Sherman

    I go through this every time I am invited to something.

  • Amit Thumar

    Loved the chart!!

  • Teto85

    Beautiful, serious, but with a great sense of humor. More than once I played with a host’s pet. The best time was when several people said that a certain cat just hated people. I just say quietly and before I knew it, the cat was curling up in my lap purring and enjoying my giving her a scratch between the ears. Thanks Marzi. I will make a trek to our site. I am so glad you are here.

  • amy33

    This was great! We are not all the same and all those squiggly lines makes me realize that. Many times I have spoken to my general practitioner about certain issues and his continued response seems to be well let’s test this…another blood test that results in nothing, well nothing that he can see. But we are not all the same and the box he want’s to fit me in I just don’t seem fit into. Whoops! Sorry Doc, I might need to seek more advice elsewhere.

  • Charlie

    Thanks a lot for this. <3 <3

  • Kim

    Love this chart. As a serious introvert, my first response to invitations is always a mental, “Ugh, I’d rather not.” But, I am married to an ambivert who works from home, and he wants to go. We last went out a month ago and had a lot of fun. This next event will include the same group of friends, but in a larger social setting. So, our balance will be to make an appearance, with the possibility of leaving early. I’ll prepare with lots of intentional quiet beforehand.

  • Debra Maruo

    Love it!

  • Viva Step

    I’ve been stalking Quiet Revolution. I retweet a lot, but this is my first comment. By coincidence, I wasn’t sure whether I should go out at my friend’s suggestion or not. I preferred staying home. And after seeing this, that’s just what I told them!

  • Julia Lapp

    Thanks so much for this. I was feeling a little under the weather today (just got a flu shot) and always feel guilty saying no to last minute plans. This helped make my decision (I’m staying in), considering I will probably see them over the weekend. As per Elliot Kim, could I purchase a poster? 🙂

    • Quiet Revolution

      Good poster to put on the door, huh? 🙂 We’ll let you (and everyone) know when the poster is available. In the meantime, you can go to Marzi’s website to view/buy her other illustrations: http://www.quietrev.com/author/marzi/

  • Quiet Revolution

    What’s your result? Are you going out or staying in?

    • Elliot Kim

      Before I answer that – is there anywhere I could purchase this as a full size poster? Love it!

      • Quiet Revolution

        Glad you love it, @disqus_DcW4TCYFwY:disqus! It’s not available as a poster right now, but it may be in the future 🙂 In the meantime, you can also head over to Marzi’s website to view/buy her other illustrations: http://www.quietrev.com/author/marzi/.

    • Viva Step

      Staying in!