Wedding season is soon upon us. And as someone who joyfully got married under a tree — just my husband and me, and two dear friends as witnesses — I am intimately familiar with the desire of many introverted brides for a quiet celebration. So I was very glad to find this piece, by Adrienne Jung and Karl Moore, on the introverted bride’s guide to getting married. (Adrienne actually had over 100 guests at her wedding, so her advice applies to those of you who are going the traditional-wedding route.)
Please share with the quiet brides you know!
I am, and always have been, the embodiment of a typical introvert. I enjoy time to myself (perhaps too much), live in my own bubble when out and about, and rarely speak if not spoken to. It should therefore come as no surprise that my vision for my wedding has always differed slightly from your classic fairytale celebration. Ever since I can remember, I have always wanted to elope, just me and my husband-to-be (and a witness, if legally required). Beyond the appeal of not becoming a spectacle for a crowd to gawk at, I was (and still am) attracted to the notion that a wedding is the start of a marriage, a lifelong commitment between two people and one that I do not take lightly. Having, for lack of a better word, a party to celebrate it has always seemed so, well… cavalier.
And as it turns out, I’m not alone. While the reasoning behind the decision may vary, intimate wedding or elopements are gaining in popularity. Let’s face it, it is the easier and cheaper option. A growing number of firms are helping couples elope. Unfortunately, as in my case, it’s not always a possibility. For reasons I won’t go into, my fiancé convinced me to have a rather large (by my standards) wedding, upwards of 100 guests. This has me stepping outside of my comfort zone, so I recently reached out to a group of brides on social media and asked for feedback on past experiences from more introverted brides.
Here’s a small compilation of their suggestions:
Ultimately, as with your career, friendships, and passion pursuits, there are ways to hone in on your introversion and use your personality to have a really “successful” and meaningful wedding day. Rather than dread the large crowds, I choose to look forward to the opportunity for intimate and thoughtful conversations at my wedding. There’s no part of life that we introverts can’t learn to navigate. Sometimes it’s just about working together to learn from each other, and learning the “introvert way” to thrive. For better or for worse, introversion is part of my wedding day, my marriage, and who I am as a person – ‘til death do us part.
This was written by Adrienne Jung, Director of Administration, International Political Science Association, with Karl Moore, Associate Professor, Desautels Faculty of Management, McGill University.