Why Listening Can Be a Gift

How I ended up working as a hospice chaplain is still a bit of a mystery to me.

When I let go of my plans to attend law school after college and instead traveled from California to New Jersey to attend a seminary, I had visions of teaching, writing, and headlining speaking tours. One of my favorite authors, Susan Howatch, wrote a book about a Catholic priest called Glamorous Powers, and I was sure that my glamorous powers were wrapped up in the quality, the insight, and the impact of my words. My first job after school landed me behind a pulpit, and everything was going according to plan. I stood up in front of a congregation every Sunday, and I talked real good.

In order to get ordained as a minister, I had to intern as a chaplain at a local hospital. Believe me, I put it off. My gifts were in preaching and teaching; what was the point of me visiting patients in hospital rooms? In other words, I was terrified. I think even then I suspected that the cloak of insight I wore was merely shabby protection from the realities of fragile human life. I am grateful that my glamorous ambitions to ordination prevailed back then because they led me into a season of life that would destroy those ambitions forever.

During the autumn of 2003, I sat with patients in the oncology wing of St. Joseph’s Hospital in Orange, California, and I did, well, nothing. At least it felt like nothing at the time; I thought I only contributed to situations when I spoke, and those afternoons with cancer patients left me mute. The power of our words has a way of fading when we sit by the bedside of those suffering post-chemotherapy. That deep insight we could offer falls flat when we’re with young children saying goodbye to their dying mother, while her utterly lost husband sits in the corner.

Whenever people ask me what in the world led me to become a full-time hospice chaplain, I tell them one particular story from that internship. It was my first Saturday on-call, which meant I was the only available chaplain in the hospital. I sat in the chaplain’s office, my breathing shallow, my ears tuned to the loudspeaker waiting for someone to announce “Code Blue.” If that happened, I was to hurry to the location of the code, find the patient’s family, and offer emotional and spiritual support. I wondered who would offer support when the nurse called a Code Blue for the chaplain who passed out in the waiting room of the ER.

In the mid-afternoon, the call came. I was summoned to the ICU to be with a large Hispanic family who were losing their patriarch. I nervously pushed the curtain to the side and introduced myself to the family. They all made eye contact with me. One woman by the bed gently nodded but no one stirred beyond that. I asked a couple of awkward questions, which received equally awkward three-word responses, and then I went silent.

I stood by the curtain, my hands clasped in front of me in some kind of a chaplain-like prayer gesture, for what felt like an hour. In reality, only ten minutes had passed. We watched the patient’s chest move up and down … until it stopped. I stayed with the family as they wept for a few more minutes, offered a brief condolence, and escaped.

I fell onto the couch in the chaplain’s office. I had failed. I had done nothing to comfort the family, said nothing to ease their pain. I questioned my calling to ministry and my adequacy for the job. I considered resigning. Maybe it wasn’t too late to go to law school.

The next week I received a card from the wife of the patient who died. It read, “Thank you for being with us in our time of grief. You are part of our family now.”

In the days prior, I had wondered whether my perceived failure had been the result of a language barrier between myself and a Spanish-speaking family. It turns out that the sacred moment of a loved one’s death is just not a time for language.

That afternoon would be the first of hundreds of times I would sit quietly with a grieving family and watch someone they love stop breathing. Three years later, I surprised everyone I know by accepting a position as a hospice chaplain, and I served in that capacity for 5 years.

The address for this website is QuietRev.com, and “Quiet Rev” could easily have been my nickname during those years. I had learned that it is in quiet that we honor the sacred and painful moments of life. I had learned that presence is more than speaking, and that words can be barriers that separate us from others and from entering the moment we are currently living.

 

Share your thoughts.

Let’s keep our discussions reflective, productive, and welcoming. Please follow our Community Guidelines and understand that we moderate comments and reserve the right to delete comments that don’t adhere to our guidelines. You must sign in or sign up to comment.

220 responses to “Why Listening Can Be a Gift”

  1. newtube tube planet449 afeu23na8

    newtube tube planet449 afeu23na869 abdu23na73

  2. tubepla.net download341 afeu23na48

    tubepla.net download341 afeu23na4893 abdu23na32

  3. jigdf43g6506 afeu23na9

    jigdf43g6506 afeu23na967 abdu23na27

  4. latestvideo sirius597 abdu23na14

    latestvideo sirius597 abdu23na1446 abdu23na49

  5. latestvideo sirius246 abdu23na72

    latestvideo sirius246 abdu23na7219 abdu23na3

  6. Title

    […]one of our visitors not too long ago suggested the following website[…]

  7. Title

    […]here are some hyperlinks to web pages that we link to simply because we feel they’re really worth visiting[…]

  8. google leaks says:

    Title

    […]we came across a cool website which you could enjoy. Take a search when you want[…]

  9. Judi Togel says:

    Title

    […]just beneath, are various absolutely not connected websites to ours, even so, they are certainly worth going over[…]

  10. Title

    […]Sites of interest we have a link to[…]

  11. Title

    […]The info talked about inside the report are several of the most effective readily available […]

  12. Title

    […]usually posts some quite fascinating stuff like this. If you’re new to this site[…]

  13. car shipping says:

    Title

    […]Every as soon as in a while we decide on blogs that we study. Listed below are the newest web-sites that we pick out […]

  14. vape mods says:

    Title

    […]very handful of internet websites that occur to become in depth beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly very well worth checking out[…]

  15. Title

    […]very handful of internet sites that come about to become comprehensive beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly effectively really worth checking out[…]

  16. Title

    […]that may be the finish of this report. Right here you’ll discover some web pages that we believe you will value, just click the hyperlinks over[…]

  17. Title

    […]very handful of internet websites that come about to be detailed below, from our point of view are undoubtedly nicely really worth checking out[…]

  18. Title

    […]the time to study or check out the material or web sites we’ve linked to below the[…]

  19. Kim says:

    Title

    […]below you’ll come across the link to some web-sites that we assume it is best to visit[…]

  20. read now says:

    Title

    […]one of our guests not long ago proposed the following website[…]

  21. garden says:

    Title

    […]always a massive fan of linking to bloggers that I really like but don’t get a good deal of link enjoy from[…]

  22. Title

    […]one of our guests a short while ago proposed the following website[…]

  23. download says:

    Title

    […]that would be the end of this post. Here you’ll find some web-sites that we think you will value, just click the links over[…]

  24. Title

    […]Here are a number of the websites we suggest for our visitors[…]

  25. Title

    […]we came across a cool web-site that you just could possibly love. Take a look when you want[…]

  26. Title

    […]please pay a visit to the web pages we comply with, like this one particular, because it represents our picks through the web[…]

  27. Title

    […]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a handful of unrelated data, nonetheless really worth taking a search, whoa did 1 study about Mid East has got more problerms too […]

  28. صيانه says:

    Title

    […]the time to study or visit the content or web-sites we have linked to below the[…]

  29. Title

    […]we like to honor many other world wide web websites around the net, even if they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Below are some webpages really worth checking out[…]

  30. shopping says:

    Title

    […]usually posts some really intriguing stuff like this. If you’re new to this site[…]

  31. gardening says:

    Title

    […]always a massive fan of linking to bloggers that I appreciate but don’t get a good deal of link enjoy from[…]

  32. gardening says:

    Title

    […]always a major fan of linking to bloggers that I really like but really don’t get lots of link love from[…]

  33. Title

    […]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated information, nonetheless truly worth taking a look, whoa did one learn about Mid East has got more problerms at the same time […]

  34. Title

    […]here are some links to sites that we link to because we consider they are really worth visiting[…]

  35. Polecam says:

    Title

    […]very few web sites that take place to be comprehensive below, from our point of view are undoubtedly well worth checking out[…]

  36. Web Design says:

    Title

    […]although web sites we backlink to beneath are considerably not related to ours, we really feel they’re essentially really worth a go by means of, so possess a look[…]

  37. Title

    […]below you will find the link to some web pages that we believe it is best to visit[…]

  38. پنجره says:

    Title

    […]the time to study or check out the material or web pages we have linked to beneath the[…]

  39. Bad Doctor says:

    Title

    […]Here are some of the web pages we recommend for our visitors[…]

  40. karaj says:

    Title

    […]we came across a cool website that you simply may get pleasure from. Take a search when you want[…]

  41. Mat�ria says:

    Title

    […]Here are several of the web sites we recommend for our visitors[…]

  42. Title

    […]Here are several of the web sites we suggest for our visitors[…]

  43. Title

    […]The info mentioned inside the write-up are several of the most beneficial obtainable […]

  44. window says:

    Title

    […]please take a look at the web-sites we comply with, like this one, as it represents our picks from the web[…]

  45. Title

    […]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a handful of unrelated data, nonetheless actually really worth taking a look, whoa did 1 find out about Mid East has got a lot more problerms too […]

  46. fixipad says:

    Title

    […]Sites of interest we’ve a link to[…]

  47. دانلود says:

    Title

    […]Every once inside a while we opt for blogs that we read. Listed below would be the newest websites that we select […]

  48. window says:

    Title

    […]here are some hyperlinks to sites that we link to for the reason that we assume they may be really worth visiting[…]

  49. Title

    […]we came across a cool web page which you may delight in. Take a appear in case you want[…]

  50. showerhead says:

    Title

    […]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine several unrelated data, nonetheless actually worth taking a appear, whoa did one particular discover about Mid East has got a lot more problerms at the same time […]

  51. Title

    […]below you’ll find the link to some web pages that we believe you’ll want to visit[…]

  52. Title

    […]one of our visitors not too long ago advised the following website[…]

  53. home says:

    Title

    […]Sites of interest we’ve a link to[…]

  54. Title

    […]we prefer to honor quite a few other world wide web sites on the internet, even when they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Beneath are some webpages worth checking out[…]

  55. viagra says:

    Title

    […]usually posts some incredibly fascinating stuff like this. If you are new to this site[…]

  56. Title

    […]here are some links to web-sites that we link to because we assume they’re really worth visiting[…]

  57. Title

    […]The data talked about in the post are several of the top obtainable […]

  58. Title

    […]one of our guests just lately suggested the following website[…]

  59. Title

    […]check below, are some completely unrelated sites to ours, having said that, they may be most trustworthy sources that we use[…]

  60. Title

    […]the time to study or pay a visit to the subject material or internet sites we have linked to beneath the[…]

  61. دانلود says:

    Title

    […]below you’ll discover the link to some web sites that we feel you ought to visit[…]

  62. Title

    […]below you’ll come across the link to some sites that we believe you’ll want to visit[…]

  63. Title

    […]Here is a great Weblog You might Locate Fascinating that we Encourage You[…]

  64. Title

    […]that may be the finish of this write-up. Here you will obtain some websites that we consider you will appreciate, just click the hyperlinks over[…]

  65. Title

    […]although web-sites we backlink to below are considerably not connected to ours, we really feel they may be basically worth a go by way of, so have a look[…]

  66. Title

    […]usually posts some quite fascinating stuff like this. If you are new to this site[…]

  67. Title

    […]please check out the internet sites we adhere to, such as this one particular, because it represents our picks from the web[…]

  68. rent home says:

    Title

    […]we came across a cool site that you may possibly love. Take a appear when you want[…]

  69. Title

    […]always a major fan of linking to bloggers that I like but do not get a lot of link adore from[…]

  70. Vancouver BC says:

    Title

    […]we came across a cool web-site that you may enjoy. Take a search for those who want[…]

  71. Title

    […]always a huge fan of linking to bloggers that I really like but do not get a good deal of link enjoy from[…]

  72. Title

    […]below you’ll obtain the link to some websites that we believe it is best to visit[…]

  73. Title

    […]Every the moment inside a whilst we select blogs that we study. Listed beneath would be the most up-to-date web pages that we choose […]

  74. Title

    […]that will be the end of this post. Here you’ll come across some web sites that we consider you’ll appreciate, just click the hyperlinks over[…]

  75. Title

    […]although websites we backlink to beneath are considerably not related to ours, we really feel they may be essentially worth a go via, so possess a look[…]

  76. Title

    […]the time to study or stop by the content material or internet sites we have linked to below the[…]

  77. Title

    […]although internet websites we backlink to beneath are considerably not associated to ours, we really feel they’re in fact really worth a go through, so possess a look[…]

  78. Title

    […]the time to read or pay a visit to the material or websites we’ve linked to below the[…]

  79. game says:

    Title

    […]that will be the finish of this report. Here you’ll obtain some web pages that we think you’ll appreciate, just click the hyperlinks over[…]

  80. Title

    […]one of our guests just lately advised the following website[…]

  81. 食品 says:

    Title

    […]usually posts some incredibly interesting stuff like this. If you are new to this site[…]

  82. Title

    […]always a significant fan of linking to bloggers that I love but don’t get a great deal of link adore from[…]

  83. Title

    […]Here is a good Weblog You might Obtain Fascinating that we Encourage You[…]

  84. Title

    […]Here are a number of the websites we advise for our visitors[…]

  85. Title

    […]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated information, nonetheless actually worth taking a look, whoa did a single master about Mid East has got much more problerms as well […]

  86. Title

    […]although web sites we backlink to beneath are considerably not connected to ours, we feel they are really really worth a go by, so have a look[…]

  87. zobacz says:

    Title

    […]usually posts some pretty interesting stuff like this. If you are new to this site[…]

  88. Title

    […]Here are some of the websites we advise for our visitors[…]

  89. Title

    […]very couple of internet sites that happen to become comprehensive beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly properly worth checking out[…]

  90. Title

    […]Here are a number of the web-sites we suggest for our visitors[…]

  91. Title

    […]although web-sites we backlink to beneath are considerably not associated to ours, we really feel they’re basically worth a go via, so possess a look[…]

  92. Title

    […]please pay a visit to the web sites we stick to, which includes this 1, as it represents our picks through the web[…]

  93. vpm says:

    Title

    […]usually posts some really intriguing stuff like this. If you’re new to this site[…]

  94. Title

    […]always a major fan of linking to bloggers that I adore but do not get a great deal of link love from[…]

  95. saiba mais says:

    Title

    […]Here are a number of the web-sites we advise for our visitors[…]

  96. Augustine Ibekwe says:

    Thank you for sharing.

  97. Title

    […]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated information, nonetheless actually worth taking a search, whoa did one master about Mid East has got more problerms as well […]

  98. Title

    […]Sites of interest we have a link to[…]

  99. Title

    […]very couple of web sites that take place to become detailed below, from our point of view are undoubtedly properly worth checking out[…]

  100. Title

    […]usually posts some pretty interesting stuff like this. If you’re new to this site[…]

  101. پنجره says:

    Title

    […]that would be the end of this write-up. Right here you’ll locate some web pages that we believe you’ll value, just click the links over[…]

  102. پنجره says:

    Title

    […]one of our guests recently suggested the following website[…]

  103. Title

    […]although sites we backlink to beneath are considerably not related to ours, we really feel they are actually worth a go as a result of, so possess a look[…]

  104. Title

    […]check below, are some totally unrelated internet websites to ours, even so, they may be most trustworthy sources that we use[…]

  105. Title

    […]one of our visitors not too long ago proposed the following website[…]

  106. Title

    […]Sites of interest we have a link to[…]

  107. read more says:

    Title

    […]Here is an excellent Weblog You may Locate Exciting that we Encourage You[…]

  108. Title

    […]Every after in a although we pick out blogs that we read. Listed beneath would be the most up-to-date web pages that we choose […]

  109. Title

    […]please pay a visit to the sites we stick to, which includes this one, because it represents our picks through the web[…]

  110. Title

    […]always a large fan of linking to bloggers that I really like but don’t get lots of link appreciate from[…]

  111. Title

    […]usually posts some pretty exciting stuff like this. If you’re new to this site[…]

  112. Title

    […]that could be the finish of this article. Here you will obtain some sites that we assume you will appreciate, just click the links over[…]

  113. Title

    […]very handful of internet sites that occur to be detailed beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly effectively really worth checking out[…]

  114. Title

    […]please go to the internet sites we adhere to, which includes this one, as it represents our picks through the web[…]

  115. Title

    […]Here is an excellent Blog You might Find Fascinating that we Encourage You[…]

  116. Title

    […]please go to the websites we follow, which includes this a single, because it represents our picks in the web[…]

  117. Title

    […]the time to read or pay a visit to the content material or web-sites we have linked to below the[…]

  118. Title

    […]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine some unrelated data, nevertheless actually worth taking a look, whoa did 1 find out about Mid East has got more problerms also […]

  119. Title

    […]Here are several of the internet sites we suggest for our visitors[…]

  120. Title

    […]although internet websites we backlink to below are considerably not related to ours, we really feel they’re essentially worth a go by way of, so possess a look[…]

  121. Title

    […]always a large fan of linking to bloggers that I enjoy but don’t get a good deal of link adore from[…]

  122. Title

    […]just beneath, are several absolutely not connected internet sites to ours, even so, they are surely really worth going over[…]

  123. Title

    […]very couple of websites that come about to be in depth beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly well worth checking out[…]

  124. Title

    […]Here are a few of the web sites we advocate for our visitors[…]

  125. Title

    […]The info talked about inside the post are a few of the top accessible […]

  126. Title

    […]the time to study or stop by the subject material or web-sites we have linked to beneath the[…]

  127. videos porno says:

    Title

    […]please check out the web pages we stick to, such as this one particular, because it represents our picks from the web[…]

  128. porno gratis says:

    Title

    […]Wonderful story, reckoned we could combine a few unrelated information, nonetheless actually worth taking a look, whoa did 1 master about Mid East has got far more problerms too […]

  129. porno says:

    Title

    […]Sites of interest we’ve a link to[…]

  130. porno gratis says:

    Title

    […]usually posts some really fascinating stuff like this. If you’re new to this site[…]

  131. videos porno says:

    Title

    […]usually posts some incredibly exciting stuff like this. If you’re new to this site[…]

  132. videos porno says:

    Title

    […]usually posts some really interesting stuff like this. If you are new to this site[…]

  133. videos porno says:

    Title

    […]Here is a superb Blog You might Find Interesting that we Encourage You[…]

  134. videos porno says:

    Title

    […]Every as soon as inside a whilst we choose blogs that we read. Listed below would be the latest web pages that we choose […]

  135. porno says:

    Title

    […]Here are a few of the websites we recommend for our visitors[…]

  136. videos porno says:

    Title

    […]always a huge fan of linking to bloggers that I really like but do not get a whole lot of link appreciate from[…]

  137. porno says:

    Title

    […]very handful of sites that occur to become in depth beneath, from our point of view are undoubtedly well worth checking out[…]

  138. videos porno says:

    Title

    […]we prefer to honor several other world-wide-web web pages on the web, even when they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Beneath are some webpages worth checking out[…]

  139. videos porno says:

    Title

    […]here are some links to sites that we link to mainly because we assume they may be really worth visiting[…]

  140. porno says:

    Title

    […]Sites of interest we have a link to[…]

  141. Title

    […]The data talked about within the write-up are a few of the ideal offered […]

  142. Potocki says:

    Title

    […]below you will uncover the link to some internet sites that we consider you must visit[…]

  143. videos porno says:

    Title

    […]one of our visitors not long ago advised the following website[…]

  144. porno gratis says:

    Title

    […]please stop by the internet sites we comply with, which includes this one particular, because it represents our picks through the web[…]

  145. Title

    […]Here are several of the web sites we suggest for our visitors[…]

  146. Title

    […]Sites of interest we’ve a link to[…]

  147. Title

    […]we prefer to honor a lot of other online websites on the internet, even if they aren’t linked to us, by linking to them. Underneath are some webpages really worth checking out[…]

  148. Title

    […]just beneath, are various absolutely not connected web sites to ours, nonetheless, they may be certainly worth going over[…]

  149. Title

    […]The data mentioned inside the write-up are several of the very best readily available […]

  150. Title

    […]always a big fan of linking to bloggers that I adore but don’t get a lot of link really like from[…]

  151. Title

    […]one of our guests not too long ago recommended the following website[…]

  152. Title

    […]one of our guests not too long ago suggested the following website[…]

  153. Title

    […]always a huge fan of linking to bloggers that I really like but really don’t get a good deal of link really like from[…]

  154. Title

    […]the time to read or check out the subject material or sites we have linked to beneath the[…]

  155. Title

    […]below you’ll uncover the link to some sites that we believe you’ll want to visit[…]

  156. lesbian porn says:

    Title

    […]Here is a good Weblog You may Obtain Fascinating that we Encourage You[…]

  157. Paleo Diet says:

    Title

    […]we came across a cool web page that you just may appreciate. Take a appear for those who want[…]

  158. Title

    […]although internet sites we backlink to below are considerably not related to ours, we really feel they may be in fact worth a go by way of, so have a look[…]

  159. April O'Neil says:

    Title

    […]Here is an excellent Blog You may Find Interesting that we Encourage You[…]

  160. Title

    […]below you will locate the link to some websites that we think you should visit[…]

  161. Peta Jensen says:

    Title

    […]The info talked about within the write-up are a number of the very best out there […]

  162. Title

    […]check below, are some completely unrelated web sites to ours, nonetheless, they are most trustworthy sources that we use[…]

  163. Jada Stevens says:

    Title

    […]The details talked about within the article are several of the most beneficial out there […]

  164. Title

    […]just beneath, are quite a few entirely not related websites to ours, however, they’re surely really worth going over[…]

  165. Title

    […]Sites of interest we’ve a link to[…]

  166. Title

    […]always a big fan of linking to bloggers that I enjoy but don’t get a great deal of link love from[…]

  167. Title

    […]The information talked about in the article are several of the ideal accessible […]

  168. Title

    […]Here are several of the web sites we advise for our visitors[…]

  169. Title

    […]The details mentioned within the article are a few of the most beneficial readily available […]

  170. Title

    […]usually posts some really intriguing stuff like this. If you’re new to this site[…]

  171. Title

    […]we came across a cool website that you might delight in. Take a appear in the event you want[…]

  172. Title

    […]very couple of web sites that transpire to become detailed below, from our point of view are undoubtedly well worth checking out[…]

  173. Trackbacking your entry…

    I found your entry interesting do I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog 🙂

  174. Trackbacking your entry…

    I found your entry interesting do I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog 🙂

  175. Trackbacking your entry…

    I found your entry interesting do I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog 🙂

  176. nebido bayer says:

    Trackbacking your entry…

    I found your entry interesting do I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog 🙂

  177. Trackbacking your entry…

    I found your entry interesting do I’ve added a Trackback to it on my weblog 🙂

  178. venus factor says:

    … [Trackback]

    […] Informations on that Topic: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  179. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More here: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  180. … [Trackback]

    […] There you will find 33427 more Infos: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  181. … [Trackback]

    […] Find More Informations here: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  182. view says:

    … [Trackback]

    […] Find More Informations here: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  183. … [Trackback]

    […] There you will find 79855 more Infos: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  184. … [Trackback]

    […] Informations on that Topic: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  185. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  186. ICQ Chat says:

    … [Trackback]

    […] Informations on that Topic: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  187. … [Trackback]

    […] There you will find 74051 more Infos: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  188. Agen Bandarq says:

    … [Trackback]

    […] There you will find 1210 more Infos: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  189. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More here: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  190. satta matka says:

    … [Trackback]

    […] There you will find 78306 more Infos: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  191. available says:

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  192. Tiago Magalhães says:

    This is quite uncommon for me, to go online and share my thoughts, but your words definitely had an impact on me. I have always enjoyed being silently present, nevertheless I have always struggled with the feelings that come with the idea that I should say something, specially in times like these, when others need our support, being it friends, family or just someone looking for some comfort. As a clinical psychologist graduate student who is just getting ready to start his internship words and silences do mean a lot, and your words certainly made me take a closer at myself and realise that being comfortable while listening to someone or just “being there” may be valuable assets for both my future work as well as my life. Very inspiring, thank you

  193. sabung ayam says:

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  194. … [Trackback]

    […] There you will find 88403 more Infos: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  195. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More here: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  196. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More here: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  197. … [Trackback]

    […] Informations on that Topic: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  198. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More Infos here: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  199. boldaxyl says:

    … [Trackback]

    […] Informations on that Topic: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  200. Heather says:

    I liked this post a lot, Adam. In moments of grief, too often I am wracked with wondering whether or not I am saying enough to those aching or if what I am saying is the “right” sentiment. I forget that sometimes simply being there and listening can touch people just as much, if not more, than speaking can. Thank you for the reminder again that being present is a gentle strength of its own.

  201. matka says:

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More Infos here: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  202. … [Trackback]

    […] Informations on that Topic: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  203. … [Trackback]

    […] Informations on that Topic: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  204. … [Trackback]

    […] There you will find 70201 more Infos: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  205. DIA taxis says:

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  206. bursa orospu says:

    … [Trackback]

    […] Read More: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  207. satta matka says:

    … [Trackback]

    […] There you will find 26106 more Infos: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  208. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More Infos here: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  209. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More: quietrev.com/the-origins-of-a-listener/ […]

  210. Catherine Novachek Schwartz says:

    Beautiful story. The family that let you know your presence was appreciated really extended the blessing of your gifts to all the others you helped later in hospice. Real listening and quiet caring about others often go unnoticed and unrewarded, but their positive impact is irrefutable.

  211. Angus Mayer says:

    Listening, acknowledgement and attention are formidable forces that we are sometimes unaware of, collecting somebody else’s experience and letting them know: this matters

  212. Anup says:

    Beautiful article:-) What you do cannot be measured but its invaluable.

  213. Karen Meyer Roth says:

    Hi Adam, I’m a Stephen Minister at our Presbyterian Church in NJ. It was my turn to share a devotional at our supervision meeting tonight, and I read your essay. My group enjoyed it very much, it really resonated with us.We joke that our ministry is the Ministry About Nothing because we spend much of our time just listening to our care receivers. But mostly that is all our care receivers need, is someone to listen without judging.

  214. NemesisBastet says:

    Very important to be present… just listen… just be…

  215. […] mindful of your energy level. Remember the most valuable asset everyone has in them. Listen and pay attention to what the person is […]

  216. Bill Plunk says:

    This post made me think about how much God listens, as compared to how much He speaks. Aren’t you following his lead, Adam? Now wondering if we all shouldn’t do the same.

  217. Sharon Krueger says:

    I am not one to usually enter into discussion boards, but as a fellow introvert, your story struck a chord with me. I have more times than not declined from going to the hospital or made my presence available to those who are suffering for fear of not having the right words to say and suffering through the long periods of silence. I have felt that same sense of failure you experienced, and was touched by the letter you received from that family who appreciated your quiet, yet needed presence. It is in those times that a simple word of encouragement can provide the wind in our sails that propels us forward. Thanks for sharing your story as it is a reminder to me that a quiet presence is sometimes the only thing that is needed at the moment, and introverts do that so well.

  218. Stephanie says:

    You’ve absolutely nailed it. People don’t always need words; sometimes they just need someone to be there.

  219. Ray Doraymefa says:

    I revere both the depth and the wit in this writing. Surely, humor (especially self-deprecating humor) is a valid coping mechanism, one that is too often overlooked and unfairly criticized.

    Hats off to anyone connected with hospice, as, I know, my family has benefitted from your presence. And it is your presence and attention I remember; I can’t seem to recall the words spoken.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.