I remember going to parties in college with my then-future husband. I’d happily perch myself on a countertop in the kitchen, nurse one beer all night, and watch people come and go. I’d watch Joel bounce his way around the room. He has always been the type to come away at the end of the night with four new best friends and plans to hang out with them the next weekend.

Since our daughter was born, it has been amazing to see ourselves in her. All at once, she is funny, fearless, and shy—an appreciator and a greeter. Joel’s favorite ritual with her is a weekly trip to the grocery store, where they can play and wave, and enjoy the buzz of people dashing around the produce section. My favorite place to take her is the wildflower center, where we can sit, listen, and breathe. The funny thing is, she seems perfectly at home in both spots.

Looking back on those social experiences in college, it is clear to me that our daughter has the best of both worlds to model from, and it is up to her how she chooses to go about it.