So, you’re in a room full of people at a party. Someone approaches you (or you approach someone for some reason). You don’t feel anxiety, and you don’t feel shy. You can normally talk to that other person as if you’ve known them for years. That’s the extroverted part of you. After a couple of minutes of nice chit-chat, that person goes away. Minutes pass, you’re standing/sitting alone. You have no urge to communicate with others. You take a sip of what you’re drinking, watch the crowd, listen to the music, and eat food. No one approaches you, and you’re glad. You kind of wish you’ve stayed home and watched movies. That’s the introverted part. The moment someone does approach you, your little extrovert wakes up. Again, you communicate with no boundaries whatsoever.

It sounds great to be an extroverted introvert, doesn’t it?

Nope. Not always.

First of all, people don’t understand. You go out to parties, and you sing and dance and mingle with people, and all of a sudden, in everybody’s eyes, you’re an extrovert. The moment you decline a couple of invitations to some concerts or parties, people start gossiping that you’re “getting weird.” They ask you if you’re feeling fine. They judge you for not going out when they thought you would. That’s the worst part. I mean, sometimes you enjoy reading (a bad) book more than going to (a bad) concert, and that’s fine. And sometimes, they will understand. But mostly, they won’t.

How extroverts see you is really funny. Friday and Saturday nights are just not your thing sometimes. You try your best not to set off negative vibes in those days, but it often seems as if you fail at it. For you, it’s just too crowded and too noisy. You pray to God some of your friends will get bored soon. But they don’t. And you can’t leave them all of a sudden. It’s hard to explain to the extroverts that you, who likes concerts and being with a lot of friends, are feeling anxious.

How introverts see you is even funnier. You’re something like their PR manager. You completely understand their anxieties and how frightened they are when they need to communicate with the world. We all feel it sometimes. So, from time to time, you take it as your duty to communicate with the outer world when they don’t feel like it. Honestly, it’s really nice to have someone with whom you can grab a cup of coffee on Friday or Saturday afternoon, knowing it doesn’t have to end up as a late-night circus in town.

All in all, I’m just another brick in a wall. (Just kidding). Now, I hope I made it a little bit more clear how extroverted introverts (at least my type) function. And please, never judge a person if they don’t feel like going out, don’t try to persuade them that it’s going to be fun, never say that they seem depressed (saying that won’t solve anything), and always respect their decision whether they’re introverts, extroverts, or anything in-between.

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  • JadePenguin

    I find it’s hardest being somewhere in between! People like easy labels: “this person likes socialising, thinks by talking aloud, enjoys attention; the other person is the opposite”. Umm…no, there’s many combinations of these traits! So you might be on the sidelines of a party because you barely know anyone, and people assume that you don’t want to talk and wonder why the heck you’re even there. Neither side understands you 😮

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  • Marlana Sherman

    If I am comfortable, I will talk. If not, then I don’t. If it is a topic I’m interested in, I will talk your head off. I have been working on starting conversations more, I definitely talk more than I did when I was younger but I still am not a big fan of large crowds. It is just too noisy. I really enjoyed reading your story.